5: Sawdust

This post is noteworthy not just because I can’t think of many practical uses for sawdust beyond absorbing liquids (ie: vomit in elementary school cafeterias). It’s the way in which the poster seems to be positing a true or false question followed by a phone number:

“Cabinet shop has lots of sawdust. ” And that’s it. I should call and say, “true,” because I’d imagine that’s true.

4: Grass Clippings
Again – this is all in how the post is phrased:
“have lawn full of grass if you want the clippings come on over and take them. my address is 9 old state rd in media ask for Mr. John Cooper Thank you.”
Sounds like Mr. Cooper wants you to come and mow his lawn in exchange for all the clippings you can rake, bag and haul away.

3: Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt!
Um, why didn’t you just say so!
Yes, that’s 4 times the poster said “dirt” in the heading. 3 times just wasn’t enough. Right off the bat, he addresses the obvious:
“why pay for whats free?” Interesting. I’m listening, go on…
“In my backyard I have about a ton of dirt and stone mix. Decorative brick chips were shoveled off, with some underlying dirt as well.”
Sounds good, but is it all bagged and ready to go?
“It is all bagged and ready to go.”
SOLD! What an effective ad campaign for free dirt.

But the top two need little to no elaboration:

2. Kombucha babies [Tea claimed to be a fountain of youth, made from scary yeast patties you have to grow in huge jars. Look it up on Wikipedia.]

“i started brewing my own kombucha and have lots of babies/ SCOBY’s. i would rather give them away than throw them away. i can also give you a cup or so of starter. you must meet me near where i live, 49th and springfield (evenings/ weekends).”

Sometimes I miss living in West Philly. And also: gross.
There is a tie for #1.

1b: Tracheotomy Supplies
“I have a bunch of tracheotomy supplies. Free to anyone that needs them. Had a temporary trach and have way more supplies than were needed. Email and we can arrange pick up or prepaid shipping. I would rather not throw these in the trash and a hospital/doctors office cannot take them. I”

(Yes, it does end in I. Maybe he or she needed those supplies after all.)

I didn’t know what I was looking for – until I saw this.

1a: Salt looking for pepper (Havertown)

Sounds like a Personal ad misplaced on curb alert, but no.

“I have one salt or pepper shaker…broke the other one before I even used them. Can anyone use just one? It’s Mikasa “Garden Splendor” with what looks to be a silver plate top. 5 inches tall. Maybe you just need new tops? Hate to just throw it away.”

Did your grammy write this? Or is this a sign that
“The Great Depression 2: Back in Black” is underway?

So lonely. So cold.